I run.

I run from my problems.

I run from my enemies.

I have even run from You.

My Creator, my Savior, my Lord.

I never stop running.

A constant cat and mouse chase, between me and my problems.

Back and forth like tug a war.

Night after night.

I’ve ran my whole life.

I ran to food.

Thinking it would fill me up.  

Seeing in the end though that it just left me emptier than before.

I ran to the bottle.

But in the end the bottom was dry.

Leading me to yet another dead end.

I ran to love and believed it would run with me.

I came to realize though that disappointment is common with the human soul.

It gets bored of the chase.

It hungers for more than the race.

I ran to melodies inside of my head.

The distractions that helped me to avoid the world around me.

I ran and I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.

My feet began to ache and my knee gave out.

Allowing me to break down at just the right time.

To fall on my face when You knew my race was over.

At the time my eyes were focused on everything but You.

I still try to run.

Almost every morning I try and I try.

I try to run from You and the things You want me to do.

It never seems to work though.

My legs won’t let me.

My knee is damaged and my soul is weak, roadblocks, directing me straight to You.

I never knew that so much pain and heartache could lead to so much joy.

You showed me that even when I wanted to run away; I was never truly in control of where I ended up.

Lord, You are always in control of that.

No matter what we do You are the director of this race that we run.

We’re only following Your lead.

Either on the hardest course, or the easiest.

We are all being lead to the same destination.

We are all in this race together.

Whether we are running from the finish line or towards it we are still on the same road.

The choice is yours though.

He can’t make it for you.

Year after year.

I ran and I ran; directly into every roadblock He put in front of me.

Until one day I tripped and fell.

All my running was over.

No more.

I try and go back sometimes.

I try to go down those roads again.

The ones that say do not enter.

Over and over again.

You always bring me back though.

With denial.

With heartaches.

With tears or laughter.

With death or life.

With power or humility.

You always save me from the roads I was never supposed to be on.  

So, I still run sometimes or at least I try to. 

But my God is the leader of this race I am trying so hard to finish. 

He directs me in the paths that I should go; He never leaves me nor forsakes me.

So I run.

I run to Him now.

I run towards my problems.

I face them head on.

Never turning back.

Only because I know my Gods ways are far greater than mine.

I am a runner.

silhouette of boy running in body of water during sunset

Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com


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