The storm clouds began to form late into the night.
The rain began to fall and the thunder rolled with a fierceness like no other.
As I sat in this room; staring at the walls around me, the storm touched me deep within.
I let the thunder fill my soul.
The rain began to run down my cheeks and the lighting struck my heart.
The anger caused this storm inside of me.
The bitterness from the trials and tribulations I’ve been through.
It consumes me from the inside out.
The sensible people control these emotions.
That’s what His word says.
But when the storm rages in my eyes; I am light years away from being sensible.
These feelings of rage blow into my mind like the winds blowing in from the north; cold and harsh.
I can’t seem to take hold of it.
I can’t seem to make it stop.
Like a storm dead into the night.
No one can control it.
No one can tell the winds where to blow, or the lighting where to strike.
The rains won’t stop on our command.
And the thunder will not cease by the word of our mouth.
God’s wisdom is far from me in the midst of these storms.
But how do I stop them?
How do I get rid of all of these emotions that flood my soul every time I think about the past?
Every time I think about what I’ve done?
What others have done to me?
My heart can’t take many more strikes.
It’s becoming numb to the existence of any kind of emotion at all.
My mind is always spinning from the thunder raging throughout my body.
It never seems to go away; consuming me night and day.
Why has this anger taken over my life?
Why have I let it control my mind?
Why did I let go of God’s hand and run to this bitterness instead?
My God is kinder; My God is wiser.
He’s more than I’ll ever be.
Why am I here though?
Why am I in this place?
And why can’t I seem to get out?
It is a never-ending cycle of storms within my soul.
Never giving me time to regain my strength.
No; the lighting keeps flashing, the thunder keeps rolling, and the rain never ceases.
Take this from me O God!
Take this rage.
Take this bitterness.
Take this anger.
Destroy it in my heart
Stop these storms inside my soul.
Please, I cry out to with a plea of a thousand warriors.
Don’t leave me hanging Lord.
Don’t let me stay in this place that I’m at.
You calmed the seas.
You stopped the storms.
And You gave that peace to all who were around You.
Please do the same for me!
Please calm my heart, stop this anger from controlling me, and give me that peace that passes all understanding!
You are the only one who can do this.
You are the calmer, the protector, and the peacemaker.
I never intended to drift away from You.
But these emotions took me out to sea, took me to the middle of the storm.
Left me there to die in the midst of my troubles and heartache.
But O God You are far greater than these storms raging in my soul!
As I walk upon my faith, I look only to you, until these storms surrounding me distract my troubled mind.
And even though I fall.
Even though I stumble into the water.
You reach for me.
You take my hand.
You pull me back upon the water.
You calm me.
You protect me.
And You give me peace.
Even in the middle of the storm.
Anger has no hold on my life!
Only because of You now.
The storm has lifted.
No more thunder, no more lighting, no more rain.
And only Me.